Fallow Ground

Whatever it Takes

Whatever it takes to keep me tender toward You. Whatever it takes, Lord I beg You to do. Whatever You must lead me through. Whatever it takes, Lord … do

At times I hear your voice and try to hide. But patiently you draw me to your side. I may not always see that Your words are life to me so many times I’ve missed You. Help me, Lord, to not resist You. (chorus)

Sometimes my heart gets hard and I can’t see that Your correction is protecting me. But as I look within the darkness of my sin breaks my heart and leaves me tender. Gratefully I then surrender. (chorus)

I always pictured God’s refinement in my life as Him turning me over His proverbial knee or giving me a difficult trial. This summer, though, it was the sweetness of my Savior which broke my heart. Over the last several years, God had allowed some painful events in my life which I responded to, in part, by not allowing myself to hope.

This summer, God confronted me with the opportunity to hope. He needed to teach me that hope was what would make my ministry effective. I couldn’t fully comprehend why, however, until I comprehended what was going on in my heart.

When I wanted to hope, I quickly bastioned my heart, telling myself I was guarding it (Prov 4:23, right? Right? Wrong…) My thinly veiled façade of “my hope is in the Lord,” really whispered, “I don’t want my heart hurt, so I’m going to protect it…because I don’t believe God can.”

The only problem was that in protecting my heart, I had taken a part of my heart out of ministry. Philippians 2 talks about a love that pours one’s entire life out for someone else. Jesus patterned his ministry after his prayer life, spending concentrated times praying (Luke 5:16) and praying with fervor (Heb 5:7). Paul’s prayer for the Colossians (Col 2:1) relays how he agonized with people he couldn’t be with.

To my awe, God used His sweet hope to break my heart. As I labored in prayer, struggling for hope and losing the battle, the cross became my tangible reality (1 Cor 15:1-11). God answered my specific prayers with a yes, giving me hope.

Now I really believe that the cross is so much more than I deserve. I really believe that anything above the cross is the deep love of Jesus flowing boundless in my life. God desires to give me good things (Ps 84:11-12) God longs for me to have hope (Ps 42:5,11) because that is what will bring His name glory.

I rest in the finished work of Christ and that gives me great hope.



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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Roadsign Unheeded « The Path of Life

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