Wha…? pt 1 of 3

grandpa and granddaughter in field 2

‘I wish they’d hurry up.’ I thought and rocked my foot back and forth in the chair I was sitting in. I stared at my friends with a tired gaze. They’d been talking with these people for a long time and my stomach was eating itself. ‘I wonder where we’re going to eat. I’m thinking Moe’s. I could totally go for chips and queso.’

“Hi there!” I looked up to see the wife of our senior ministries pastor standing next to me holding Samantha. She was standing unusually close-I had to crank my neck uncomfortably to look at her. She smiled congenially.

“Do you know Samantha?”

“Yeah, of course I do! Hi Samantha, I think your dress is pretty. How many ladybugs are on it?”

Samantha responded and then the conversation died. ‘Hmm…I don’t get it. This is really uncomfortable!’ I’d never actually met this pastor’s wife, and she stood next to me-very close to me. Not facing me, which would invite conversation. Then she just slowly walked away.

“Hi there, do you go to church here?” I turned around to see two grinning middle-aged men closing in. They were wearing polo shirts-unbuttoned, with a handful of white chest hair tufting over the top and tucked into ironed jeans. Loafers and leather jackets completed the look of a retired country clubber. The one man had the grin of a car salesman complete with white hair he’d died brown about six months earlier. He was the one who initiated most of the conversation.

Someone walked up, trying to initiate conversation with both men, but the car salesman would not be distracted. He physically moved people who were in his way, so that he could come sit by me and continue our fascinating conversation about my workplace and ministry. He asked some pretty direct questions about the college, and I thought ‘surely he’s asking on behalf of a granddaughter.’

“Wow, this college sounds amazing-especially if people like you come from there. Do you have a business card?”

Red flag. “No, I do not.” I said decisively. I’d long ago stopped smiling during the conversation, and had positioned my body away from him so he didn’t think I was interested. He was giving me a weird vibe.

“Okay, so what did I miss?” the other car salesman inquired. He clapped and rubbed his hands together in anticipation, crouched to hear, and then looked at me. “Wow, you sure are a beautiful lady!”

Red Flag.

“Well, Steve, why don’t you say it right out loud?” the car salesman blushed on Steve’s behalf.

“Well she is, isn’t she? I can say it. You may be too shy to say it, but I’ll just say it. She’s pretty.”

They bantered back and forth on this for a minute and I didn’t know what to do. Finally they resumed conversation with me, and, as they peppered me with questions, Nate and company sauntered past, still gabbing, and completely oblivious to me.

“Nate. NATE!” I hissed and waved at him. No use. I was trapped with the weird old men asking me personal questions. Finally they closed the interrogation and the car salesman patted me on the shoulder.

Red Flag.

“Well, Daisy, we’re going out for ice cream if you’d like to join us.”

RED FLAG!

“I’ll see what my group is doing.” I curtly responded and turned around in my seat. Immediately upon their departure, a young couple surrounded me and clearly stated that they were there to rescue me. The men were circling in the aisle behind me, so we put our heads together, found a singly guy friend, and made him walk me to my car. He was such a great sport!

More to come…

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tom B.
    Oct 31, 2009 @ 13:01:22

    Well, Steph, we need to work out a system to guard against future situations like this. Here’s our code: If you start making a sound like an airplane and waving your hands around, I’ll be there like white on rice to relieve you of their charming company. Just do it. It’ll take care of the problem and be really funny.

    Reply

  2. Daisy
    Oct 31, 2009 @ 15:22:21

    Haha! That would be coy and unassuming… πŸ™‚ thanks for your loyal friendship!

    Reply

  3. James Van Leuvaan
    Oct 31, 2009 @ 18:34:34

    well what did you expect? it’s america, and they’re car salesmen. self explanatory i think.

    Reply

  4. Daisy
    Oct 31, 2009 @ 22:32:47

    Truth, James.

    Reply

  5. Carlajane
    Nov 11, 2009 @ 19:18:38

    Oh, classic. I LOVE it! πŸ™‚ Hahahaha!!!!!!

    Reply

  6. Daisy
    Nov 19, 2009 @ 01:10:50

    I knew you would πŸ™‚ I’m doomed, CJ!

    Reply

  7. jules
    Jan 25, 2010 @ 16:37:25

    HAHAHAAAA πŸ™‚ i love that story. i realize i’m late in reading it, but it was STILL a treat, and i wish i could’ve seen it or heard it in person:):) hehee!

    Reply

  8. Trackback: Whaaa…? pt 2 of 3 « The Path of Life

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